Honesty

Is very very hard. Accepting who you are, what you think, why you do what you do. We try to wrap our ideas and actions up in altruistic motives to make ourselves more acceptable to others in society, who judge us for things that is considered socially unacceptable.

We try so hard to be nice, to be 'good', to do good; to be 'good' children, 'good' spouses, 'good' parents; and then we hold grudges against our loved ones for the 'sacrifices' we made for them. And then blame ourselves for the 'bad' thoughts we had or the 'bad' things we do. Being selfish is bad. Being considerate is good. And the natural 'I' fights against the socially acceptable 'we'.

And somewhere as we grow from ignorant children to know-it-all teenagers to selfish adults to slightly more mature middle aged people, we find a balance - something that works for us. Whether it selfishness, altruism, dependency, independence. We find something that we feel fits us right. And hopefully we start being more honest with ourselves and stop punishing ourselves for our thoughts and accept who we are.

Fasting

People asking on various chats - did anyone fast today? My answer? I was at Zara (my favourite store) for 3 hours shopping for Sherrin and I didn't buy a single thing for myself. Hell yeah I fasted!

Simple joys...

Child lying on you hugging you wishing you. Hubby being romantic and giving flowers - that too on a busy day, that too in a way that's 'us'. Father will surely call at 12. What more can a girl ask for on her birthday? Three awesome men love me :).

Wash proof bandaids

Someone explain the concept of these things to me. First, they don't stick as well as regular bandaids to begin with. Second, when water does fall on them they tend to slip off easily. Third, and most important, what so freaking 'wash proof' about them? I mean they're bandaids for crying out loud - they have like this gaping hole for 1/3 of their size in the middle. What are they proofing!? The actual wound is covered only on 2 out of 4 sides anyways, and whether the material is water proof or not, that wound is going to get the water. So what, they're proofing the bandaid itself? What's the value in that?

I'm just saying you know.

Haircuts

I don't get it. I keep getting them. I keep wanting them. I want to grow my hair. But I like my hair looking different. And 80% of the time I hate my haircut. It's too short. I look like a mushroom. It isn't what I wanted. But I STILL KEEP WANTING A HAIRCUT.

I don't get it.

Sounds

Taking a walk in my building. Interesting how sounds work. One side of the building faces another building that is having some celebration - playing loud music on a sound system. And the other side of our building faces towards some open space, not yet noisy as the construction of a far away building still going on and roads still not open. And you can actually hear a little myna chabbering away on a tree. On one side I cannot hear the bird, on the other I cannot hear the music.

Surnames

So what would happen if I had a hyphenated name? A friend was saying that I would be in the big-leagues of investment banking if I had used a hyphenated name for myself. My reaction? I don't want to be a courier service. Seriously think about it - Shefali Panchal-Sherrin - SPS :). I don't think so.

Then we talked about what my name would have been if I had taken my in-laws house name and hyphenated it. Apparently I could have 'phad diya' the investment banking world with a name like Shefali Panchal-Thekkekara.

What say?