It's funny what we think of as a final farewell to the people who pass away. When someone passes away far from us, we know they're gone, but till we see the body it's almost as if this isn't real and will change. Even then they look like they're sleeping, maybe they'll wake up.
And when they take the body away - in India the women can't go to the funeral so the walk away from home is the final look - it hits you. You can never see that face again in real life, never touch it. You can see photos, hear videos. But those arms are gone. Those eyes are closed. And though they stopped being 'them' the instant the soul left, this is the final goodbye. For you, not for them.
And it's a kind of ritual that's a bit silly and yet gives comfort - the prayers they sing as they take the person away. The words make you cry more because there is a finality - that prayer, that 'ram naam satya hai', so unrelated it feels, yet that's it, that's the final toll of the bell that means goodbye. And yet I found it peaceful, because it makes you acknowledge something, gives you closure. You have no choice but to accept the death. And that allows you to move on. And I can understand why family want to wait for people from far away to come, to give them a chance for that closure.
It makes sense. But man it hurts.
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